Sunday, October 31, 2010

The hills are alive!

We had a family night tonight, like we do all the time. We decided to watch The Sound of Music. I get lost in this movie. I can not take my eyes off of it. There are such good morals, and quotes and...everything. The songs have words that I could live by.

Maria: "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."

Reverend Mother: "Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live."

Me and my mom used to always watch The Sound of Music when I was little. Of course I never really understood the story line fully until I was older and learned some history. But ever sinse I was little I loved how fun Maria is and how fun of a person she must have been. I loved the songs too. I still do. Julie Andrews voice is perfect. I want her voice, it's absolutely perfect. (well...was perfect.) It's such a long movie, but tonight I was so sad that it was over. It doesn't seem like it was that long. But it's my favorite one.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Ashley, what's your point?! I know, I know. I'm rambling. Shut up dude, it matters. To me at least.

This is another dance team picture. Surprise. :)

 Recently, the things I need to work on the most about me and my personality & stuff like that have been pointed out to me all at once. So I've not only been focusing on me and my problems, I'm good at focusing on other peoples problems too. Two thumbs down for me on that one. On Facebook I posted that I'm going to the park to read. Things didn't turn out the way I thought they would have, my mother and I got into another fight and those never turn out good. So I went to the park and read. Kadi Hinkle (pronounced like Katie), my bestie on dance team, said she needed to vent! I'm always there to listen to her and be there for her. I love her & miss her sooo much! She is 2 years younger than me but that doesn't matter because we are still close. <3
In the picture, she's the one on the far right :)

She told me stuff that she's dealing with, with her friend. It makes me think about the bad stuff that happens around our area. It's really sad. I'm very lucky to live in the home that I do. So thanks Hink for showing me that :) It sucks that she's in school though. I miss hanging out with her everyday at dance! Or, I guess it sucks that I'm out of school.......


______________________RANDOM... (sort of)__________________________

-Our team had reallyy weird stuff that we always would say. (I'm positive they still do) But we would make words shorter than the real word. Like abbreviate words, but we would say them...?
How it's supossed to be: "I appreciate it."
What we would say: "I appreesh."

This was an actual little conversation:
How it's supossed to be: Question: "Where did you get those moccasins??
Answer: "Target!"
What we said: Question: "Where'd you get the mocks??
Answer: "Targ!"

(and FYI, I still call them mocks. It's easier alright?)

You will still find me saying the shorter version of things. It was such a habit! Like Satchel... I call it a "Satch." Stuff like that. The team also had shorter or more fun way of saying each others names:
Kadi Hinkle? We called her Hink. Bethany? We called her B.I. (but not to her face...she wasn't very well all. Don't judge though. If you knew the story you would know why...)
Wendy, my coach was "Wend" and Crystal, our assistant coach was "Cryst"

But this really wasn't supossed to be about dance team inside jokes...
It was supossed to be about how thankful I am that I live in the house that I do. That there are people out there dealing with things that I've never experienced. So we need to stop being so selfish about our problems because there are people out there that are dealing with worse. And they feel there is no way out.
So my problem with my mom, could be something so much worse than it is. Your obsessive thought that you're fat. (Not meaning YOU like I know your problems, but there are people out there with that obsessive thought.) I'm going to start thinking that there are worse problems than mine. I knew that before, but I'm going to start thinking regularly about it. So stop complaining and be content!
Something I learned in a book someone recently borrowed to me!

Her friend found her mom's old diary with her mom's own 5 ways to become content:
  • Never allow yourself to complain about anything--not even the weather.
  • Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
  • Never compare your lot with another's.
  • Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
  • Never dwell on tomorrow--remember that [tomorrow] is God's, not ours.
So I'm also gonna try my hardest to not complain. About anything. Including the weather. I'm not gonna be that negative person nobody wants to be around.

SOOO, watch me try to become a better person! I don't know if you'll see it right away! But just know that I'm trying!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

New people!

I'm thinking I need to get out more. Meet some new people! I'm not one to go out of my way to do that, but I definitely have a little circle. I have one friend my age. I'm not complaining, but it would sure be nice to talk to other people too, ya know?

It's happened before, God has taken me away from my other friends somehow. Either we start to have troubles, or they move away or something, just so He can draw me in closer to Him. I want to make new friends though. Maybe He is setting me up for that. New people. (Because He knows how nervous I get around them.) and it's true, people make me extremely nervous. I need to get over it.

So...if anyone is up to hanging out let me know somehow :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Missing my friend

Alyssa is the one on the top, then Taylor, Kayla, and then me all when we were freshman.
We were all best friends & it was the easiest year ever!
I remember that day. Alyssa set the camera for 10 seconds and we all jumped on the bed.
I was skyping Alyssa today, we've been friends sinse the very first day of highschool. We were in the same Heath class.
I do not know what I would've done without her in highschool. We were in Tri-Tech Nursing together and we went through EVERYTHING together. She moved away to Bend, Oregon right before senior year started. My life went downhill after that. I had nobody to talk to!!

She enlisted in the Marines and she's leaving in less than 2 months. I'm gonna miss her a lot!  I love this girl!
At Tri-Tech junior year
In our scrubs...lookin' good.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I miss my team!!

The Goldrush Dance Team

I miss this team more than anything. We were together every single day either practicing or hanging out outside of practice. Even practices were occasionally bonding times! Wendy (our coach) didn't like those super talkative days, surprisingly. Being on a team you have sooo many inside jokes to name. We had practice at 5am every Tuesday and Thursday. We would get ready for school in the locker rooms. I didn't like it then, but man, I miss it now. The only day we didn't have practice is Sunday, but we had to a couple of times. We had 7 hour Saturday practices in the summer. Monday after school until 4:30. All that practice paid off in the end! We got 1st at Nationals:) Number 1 in the nation baby! What an amazing memory! The ring I wear all the time is the one our coaches got our team for winning that year. It's the only ring I wear. 

My ring symbolizes hard work. It's the most important thing to me that I wear. Whenever I think about how hard something is, or start to complain about it, I think, I didn't earn this ring by sitting on my butt complaining at how long and hard practices were. I got it by hard work and determination...(and good coaching of course.)

Practicing that much was exhausting, but totally worth it. My friends were almost annoyed at how much I practiced because we hardly had time to hang out. I have a t-shirt that I got at the Skyview Competition that says, "I can't...I have dance." That described my life. I always had to say that. And quite honestly, I loved saying it. I still wear the shirt.

But now, sinse I'm out of highschool, there is no dance outlet for me. I'm super sad about it. Dance was my life for many years. I miss performing, I miss learning new choreography, but most of all, I just miss dancing! Performing is the greatest feeling. I love the butterflies you get just before you go out on the floor. It's totally the best.

You may think the half-time show is just "whatever." But to us, it's the best feeling. It's the highlight of our night. Performing and then getting told that we did so good. Even if it's not the best reviews, the next day we get to practice and get it perfect for next time we perform it. We love what we do. We love entertaining you, since that is our job.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I need a lifeee...

I've seriously been watching the Miley and Mandy show for about 2 hours now...
and i'm not ashamed to say it! I've done it before, and it'll probably happen again.

What is the Miley and Mandy show?
Good question. 
It's basically 2 girls, Miley Cyrus and Mandy Jiroux, making weird Youtube videos that have no point. A lot of what they do is dance around their rooms and interviewing their friends and family, talking about what they did that day or what's in their closet. It's mostly just them 2 in these videos, but they are funny. They are both best friends and they do basically what all best friends do.

and in case you're interested here's a link :)
(don't watch big video that you see first it's just miley talking)

But I like it!
and I really can't find anything else to say about it. This is just a random blog post. It doesn't really mean anything and I have plenty of time to write and do whatever so I'm putting color to all the words on this blog.

but now I'm gonna get me some food...Mom's not home yet.

Family time

I went over to my sisters house to visit my sister, brother and ex-step mom. They are all doing pretty well.
We are always so weird when we hang out. We make weird videos and take weird pictures. Here are some of them:
Don't ask what my sister is doing

and just for the record, I am not afraid/embarassed to post these ridiculous pictures of myself or anyone else! It's who I am, and everyone has their weird side, also it's very hard for me to just smile like a normal person. I make really weird faces all the time and I guess I just wanted to share some of them.

okay this one's a little embarassing, but I'll post it anyway

So I've known these people for a long time now. My dad Sam was married to Shawna for 9 years. The marriage wasn't the best one. There was lots of fighting and screaming and dysfunction. Poor Jorden was ignored by me and Damon because she was the little sister. We shut doors in her face, we told her we would play with her later and she would wait and wait but we would intentionally never play with her. Poor baby :(  Once day my dad through a rocking chair out the window. We got kicked out of that apartment for the yelling. During one of their big fights everyone left the apartment and the kids had to chose which parent they wanted to go with. I chose my dad and we walked to the police station and just sat. I don't remember us saying anything. They moved into a different apartment. The one I remember the most of. There was 1 day that I remember nobody fought. That day was soo fun, the only day everyone got along. I cherished that moment and I remember it so well.

I still think what it would be like if both of my parents were together. It would be weird, but only because I wouldn't have the people in my life that I do now. I learned a lot when I was a kid. There were problems in the world that I wouldn't understand. My view on parents was either there is 1 taking care of you, or 2 that didn't get along. I knew there were kids with parents that were still together. I was never jealous of them, but I still want to know what it would be like. I'm 18, you'd think I'd be over it by now...I guess I'm not.

Okay this wasn't supossed to be about my life story!haha. But as you can tell by the weird pictures, I have great families now:) My dad is happily married to Kim and I have a little sister Jessica and a brother Trenton:)